//...believe...\\

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Disturbed by the relationship~

I finally make my stand to my boyfriend today. I told him that i needed more time to think about the relationship because it's nt working out well at the moment. Sigh~ I am SINGLE BUT UNAVAILABLE... haha~

I didn't like the way he talked to me yesterday. I dislike guys who always pretend to be the love-sick puppy, giving you the kind of look as if they will die the next instant when u fail to give them what they want(attention..). I hate it when he set his personal msg on MSN with 'Treasuring the love ones...' Somehow, the phrase seems so hypocritical to me after he broke up with me. I hate pretentious human beings and i am absoultely disgusted by their conceited behavior. Why do people have to put on masks to hide their true identity/self to friends, family members n their beloved? In my case, my boyfriend did the exact thing which i mentioned earlier. He hid his true self from me n he had his accumulation of esteem problems which caused him to blow his top at me n finally, signalled the end of us.

Qns: 1)Why are human beings so contradicting? 2)Why do they have regrets? 3)Shouldn't people try their best on their duties n not allow regrets to occur? 4)To my bf, why do you want to reconcile when you know that there is only a slim chance of me entrusting myself to you again?

Answer me pple... haha~ if u have any answers to the questions, please drop a reply to scylus@hotmail.com. I will be more than willing to hear your replies... Thanks.

To my Bf, i have to tell you that im really deeply hurt by your actions. I guess somehow it's a little too late to turn back time. But i still wish to hear you explaining yourself, at least allow me to know you better as a friend now.

Take care sweeties~ Many hugs~ Muackz~

Samster believed today at 8:13 AM

Monday, November 06, 2006

One of my angels is leaving me for Hong Kong next year~

This sweetheart is leaving me for Hong Kong next year n i ain't happy about it. She's one of my dearest friends in school now, whom i shared many of my secrets with. Without her presence, i guess i will feel the loneliness again. I'm so sad now....*cry*

She never fails to brighten my day in lectures. Sometimes, we will act a little nasty to each other. E.g. 'I piak u ah!', 'Stupiak Spastic Samster', 'Sobby Von'... the name-calling and the funny kindergarten kinda language somehow express each other's care and concern. We also had our silent conversation in lectures which was...(Penning down whatever we want to say to each other on a piece of paper n start our 'offline' conversations.) Haha~ I also remember that she was the first person i contacted, when my bf broke up with me. She stood by me n supported me, making me realised the importance of having a confidant. I'm so forunate to have her as a buddy now, but she's leaving. Though i can't bear to see her leave, i know that she's leaving for her own good, to excel in her studies n to have more exposure in her life experiences.

Apart from being sad, i'm also worried for her too. She's like a little sister to me whom i always have to care n show concern for. Though she portrays to be somebody who is easy-going, cheerful and lively at times, she's quite the sobby and 'baby/princess' sort of girl. She cries easily n she cares very much about how pp is treating her (That's my personal opinion.) Hmm... I wonder who will take care of her when she's there by herself. (Now, i sound more like her mother than her friend. haha~) But i can't help but to worry over her safety and her well-being in Hong Kong. sigh~ Worrying whether she will be alright by herself in HK, whether she has anyone to confide in when she's down n upset, whether she will be focusing in her studies or will she be too absorbed into shopping till the entent that she neglects her studies... So many worries yet that's so much i can do... I feel the helplessness~ Sigh~ That's the life of the Da Jie, 1 can't help but to worry for my Xiao Mei.

Anyway, if you get to read this, Von, i hope you study hard in Hong Kong. Everyone will definitely pin for your return. Inevitably, there will be changes but i hope things will still remain mostly the way it is even in your absence. We will always keep u updated on our stuff k!!! Heez.. Study Hard, if nt i don't friend you k? haha~

Samster believed today at 10:05 AM

All work makes Samster a dull girl~

Hi everyone,

I'm back again to blog another new entry. I think im getting so hooked up with this idea of blogging now. I know i'm considered quite late to get into the heat of blogging but come on... It's never too late to learn something new, right? haha~ (An excuse for myself.)

Back to my topic of the day, work... Yes, it has definitely made me a dull girl n i'm very sad about it. I have so many things to juggle-- Deadlines of my school assignments to be met, CNB interviews, relationships with my family members n my bf and of coz, my Social Work Society!! Somehow, i'm beginning to feel the suffocation and i think it will soon be so stressful for me that i'll be totally burned out. Sigh~ N the most important thing that is stressing me out is my examinations. Argh~~ i have not started on my revision because of my other committments. I guess my solution to my problem is prioritising my workload which i have failed to do so. I cherish the work that i'm doing now because it provides me the sense of satistfaction n i really like what i'm doing. Somehow, everything seems so important to me n i simply can't get myself detached from one to get started on another.

Oh yeah... Another thing which has been bothering n distracting me from my studies is my relationship. I have a bf who has broke up with me some time back n recently returned to request for a patch. I have accepted him but somehow, i'm no longer ready like i was before, to place my trust in him. I don't know what is holding me back. Have i lost my faith in him, i wonder? I have been thinking about it lately whether i shld reconsider my decision of accepting my bf back into my life. I fear loss n i absolutely hate it. I don't wish to return to the same state where i have cried for days due to the breakup.

What should i do??? Argh~ Vexed~ Frustrated~ I need help again!!!

Samster believed today at 12:17 AM

Sunday, November 05, 2006

My ANGELS~

Haha~ I am so happy now. This is my very first blog and i'm exploring the tiny features they have on the blog. Hmm~ All thanks to Shuling, if not i won't be writing this now. Nice skin plus this lovely pic. I love u gal. You bring so many wonderful moments into my life. Muackz~

Qns: How shall i start?? This seems kinda strange. I'm revealing my life to others n it's gonna be viewed by my friends n perhaps the other bloggers too. I suddenly feel that my personal space has been invaded yet i have this strong urge to share all my stories to my friends. What shall i do?? haha~
Privacy v.s Disclosure?? oopz... Argh~~ i don't want to be reminded of my social work theories.. Somebody, help me~~ I don't wanna be locked by the d*** Social Work ETHNICS. LOL...

Well.. i shall begin with the lovely pic above which was taken at Vivocity on Fri, after the SW2105 lecture. Hmm.... We invited Shem N Jingyang to join the four of us for dinner but that stupid Shem turned us down. argh~ Perhaps he's shy by nature but come on.. Four pretty gals asking him out, what more can he ask for?? He should count himself forunate. Jingyang, on the hand, was such a poor thing yet a very nice gentleman. He had to rush off to his workplace to collect his pay but he still tried to accompany us before he insisted he had to leave. I pity him to have Shem as a friend. (Jingyang, if u ever read this blog, i suggest u end ur friendship w Shem. haha~ juz joking!)

Anyway the night was lovely, hanging out with three of my buddies--Ling, Von n Karen. We had so much fun.. Taking pics at the places we went that evening. haha~ We were so absorbed into our world that we practically ignored the everyone's stares n weird faces. haha~ (scroll down to see the pics.)

Xiao long bao at Asian Kitchen ~Yummie~

Karen (left) n Ling (right) posing with their ice-cream.

Me (left) n Von (right) at Ben n Jerry's

Me (left) n Karen (right)---Models Wannabe. Haha~

Life is so beautiful with them ard now. I treasure them so much. I wonder how drastic the change will be when Von goes for SEP n Ling graduates next year.. so sad... How i wish things will remain the same right now. sigh~ I love u girls!

Another family photo

K. i guess that's all for a new post on my blog. Took so long to get this done(I'm a computer idiot, for ur info). Readers, please pardon me for my grammar. haha~ Enjoy reading. Love u guys too. Muackz...

Samster believed today at 8:46 AM